If you are discouraged...

...about the state of the Church at any level, here are my suggestions:

(Besides the assumed pray more, seriously open yourself to Christ in the liturgy no matter how the externals bug you, study some history, etc)

1) Get a spiritual director and submit yourself to direction. If you are seriously discouraged in your faith, and if you can't be bothered to do this - don't talk to me. Don't even.

2) Go to daily Mass. Often. Perhaps even strike up a conversation with some of your fellow Mass-goers, if you don't have to rush off to work. You will probably find kindred souls.

3) Involve yourself in a corporeal work of mercy or two. With others. There is no lack of need. It's what Jesus calls you too - showing mercy - not judging.

4) If your parish liturgy is beyond hope for you, find another parish. It's okay. If you want more solemnity and less chit-chat and no Latin Rite parish is amenable, find a monastery, a cloistered convent (this does not work if you have toddlers, unfortunately) or an Eastern Rite parish. That, too, is allowed.

I will open up comments for your suggestions - what has helped you, preferably - in the morning. 'Night.

Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give Your angels and saints charge over those who sleep. Tend Your sick ones, O Lord Christ. Rest Your weary ones. Bless Your dying ones. Soothe Your suffering ones. Pity Your afflicted ones. Shield Your joyous ones, and all for Your love's sake. Amen.

St. Augustine of Hippo

Comments

[Diana von Glahn]

Any suggestions on how to find a spiritual director, or how to approach a possible one and ask for direction? I'd love one, but never seem to find the right priest with some time.
Diana

[Tom]

One relatively easy way to find a spiritual director is to look in your parish bulletin or diocesan newspaper for events sponsored by the many lay movements active now. For example, Regnum Christi (affiliated with the Legionaires of Christ priestly order) and Opus Dei (yes, I know) frequently have evenings of reflection or recollection and often offer spiritual direction. You need not be or become a member of these movements, nor do you have to have any particular affinity for them to take advantage of spiritual direction.

Another way to find a spiritual director is by frequent (as in twice a month) confession. Many times, if you find a confessor that you can "rely" on, you will be able to arrange spiritual direction with that priest.

Finally, follow Amy's list (Beautiful job, Amy!) and ask God in prayer to guide you to a spiritual director. He will not fail to answer.

[Michael]

Great list. I would add that a spiritual director doesn't have to be a priest.

[Therese]

Keep your eyes on Jesus! Always! Nothing like spending too much time pondering your fellow travellers to cause you to take your eyes off of your destination. I've found that the surest way to wander off course is to spend too much time measuring how far off course others are! Folks are not likely to listen to you if you, yourself are off course! Better to stay on course then cause you both to go more off course by arguing who is the most off course.

Spiritual Direction --
Good book on spiritual direction is:

Seeking Spiritual Direction: How to Grow the Divine Life Within by Thomas Dubay.

Check out the local retreat houses and religious orders in your area. Brothers and sisters often have been trained in direction. Some orders are better at this than others. Jesuits and Legionaires of Christ tend to have training in Spiritual Direction.

Some parish priests are also good directors but sometimes lack the time. They may be able to point you in the direction of a good director. Don't overlook deacons. For instance a deacon in my Dominican Third Order chapter is supposed to be very good.

Priests who work at Shrines may also have more time.

Contact Catholic schools with pastoral counseling and spiritual direction programs that are solid and ask them to put you in contact with graduates. The Institute for Psychological Sciences might be a good place. Fr. Benedict Groeschel is associated with them. Their address is: http://www.ipsciences.edu/. I believe Stubenville also has a program. Loyola in Baltimore has a well known program in pastoral counseling although from what I saw of a friend's courses, it focused more on the psychological than the spiritual as it was an ecumenical program.

[Therese]

Hmmm checked out the IPS institute that Fr. Groeschel is involved with. Looks like it is mostly for Clinical Psychotherapy. Probably a good place if you need therapy from a Christian perspective, but spiritual direction is something different.

[caroline]

What are the economics of spiritual direction? Are the directors paid by the hour? Contracts? Is there any "licensing"? Do graduates from director programs hang out shingles? I'm thinking primarily of lay people spiritual directors. I suppose with priests that stipends are expected. What protections does the directee who is supposed to be "submitted" have against malpractice? Please don't think these are cynical questions. Our Lord advised us to be " wise as serpents" and that "by their fruits you shall know them." I would do a major investigation and have to find very good fruit and no rotten pieces before I turned myself over to anyone for spiritual direction.

[SAHMmy]

Retired priests are a good source to go to when looking for a Spiritual Director. Many would welcome the opportunity to continue to minister in such a manner, even though they've retired from the day-to-day Parish ministry.

[Jim]

1) A priest or religious is not per se a spiritual director. It is a skill that some have and, in my opinion, most don't. On the other hand, there is no regulation of spiritual directors and certainly no licensing. A certificate in spiritual direction only certifies that a person has completed a course of studies and direction. Since there is no universally standard for spiritual directors, this certificate is not a license or its equivalent. The best course for choosing a spiritual director is to ask some people whose spirituality you respect for some suggestions and then audition the director. The fit for a good spiritual director should be mutual. In my opinion, run as fast as you can from one that wants to direct your whole life.

2) The advice on daily Mass is very good. The lectionary is a good teacher, if you really get into it. Read the readings ahead of time, listen as they're read at Mass and then re-read them later. In my case, they saved my spiritual life on more than one occasion.

[Todd]

Peace, all.

When I hit my first crisis of faith as a teen, my resolution was to go 15 minutes early to Mass. I took the attitude that if God was generous enough to be busy in my life (leading me to the Catholic Church at age 11) I could take some time before Mass before I checked out of it completely as did most of my peers. Within a few months, I found new life in the liturgy, though because of my various commitments in high school and scouting, I often went to the 7:15 "silent" Mass. Luke 11:9-13 also works.

[Jeanne]

I have a question Amy! Why was it when we were all growing up in the 60s and 70s did we all not hear this? Why was it that we did not hear that spiritual direction is a necessary part of spiritual growth? Why was it that we didn't hear that we all needed one? Why were many kids raised to be scared of asking? It is like it was some biggg secret!?

Religious and priests all knew about it. It seems that they all knew the rules about this spiritual direction item. What was it that they thought we laity couldn't handle it? Or was it that they assumed that we already knew or if we could handle it, we would keep them all too busy? Imagine that?!

Funny thing is I had to learn all this stuff on my own. Thank God!

I don't think time is a serious issue with direction. Can't be picky about that. Just get to the major stuff first. Farm out the other stuff later. One thing at a time is the best way to go. You can't work on everything at once. LOL Courtesy first is a major rule.

Thanks for telling the truth and well, maybe if people took this advice there would be more vocations and better marriages.

I think this crisis is going to open up things for both the laity and religious and priests. Maybe now we will be more straightforward and less naive.

And maybe after this we will all learn more.

[ottanbrus]

"...what has helped you, preferably...."

As I read Ms Welborn's call for suggestions, I began to think about all the things that arm me against discouragement. Here's my partial list.

1) The Eucharist. Yes, it's still THE Blessed Sacrament, no matter what we do to it.
2) The Gospels and the Psalms.
3) The Rosary.
4) The Saints. My favorite anti-discouragement saints are Paul the Apostle, Athanasius, and Thomas More.
5) The sheer goodness of Catholic people. I mean it. I am continuously amazed by the overall charity and patience of Catholics. Sure, we're a motley bunch, clueless a good deal of the time, but I'm convinced that the world is a lot better place because Catholics are in it.
6) The witness of Pope John Paul II. Questions of governance aside, he is a holy man and a true witness, worthy of my respect, my prayers, and my affection.
7) The good American bishops. Yes, there are several of them, and they deserve all the support I can give them.
8) The "new orthodoxy" among young American Catholics (including young priests). Pray, pray, pray that this continues. We're talking hope for tomorrow here.

There are others too, but this is my off-the-cuff list.

[Kevin Miller]

Also, to Caroline - I personally have never heard of giving a priest a stipend for spiritual direction, any more than for, e.g., just hearing a confession.

[Sulpicius Severus]

If you want more solemnity and less chit-chat and no Latin Rite parish is amenable, find a monastery, a cloistered convent (this does not work if you have toddlers, unfortunately) or an Eastern Rite parish. That, too, is allowed.

Here is a comprehensive, up-to-date list of all Traditional Latin Mass sites (including Mass times and contact info; enter address into mapquest.com to get directions) in the U.S. (and some foreign listings). It includes monasteries and convents. UIOGD,

[Charles M. de Nunzio]

What are the economics of spiritual direction? Are the directors paid by the hour? Contracts? Is there any "licensing"? Do graduates from director programs hang out shingles? I'm thinking primarily of lay people spiritual directors. I suppose with priests that stipends are expected. What protections does the directee who is supposed to be "submitted" have against malpractice? Please don't think these are cynical questions....

The fact that these are indeed serious questions is revelatory of something, not so much of the person asking these questions, but rather something much bigger: namely, the extent to which the (American) Church in the postconciliar age has bought ("hook, line, and sinker") into...

1) The "program" mentality, i.e., whenever there's a problem to be solved or some goal to be accomplished, this is done through some formal, organized, and purely humanistic process, along the lines of a bureaucratic model, as opposed to red-tape-less direct person-to-person contact. I dare say that the virtue of Charity is fostered through the direct personal approach, whereas it is stifled and extinguished in a bureaucratic framework.

Consider, for example, when my sister at long last decided some years ago that she was going to raise her daughters as Catholics, instead of the priest tending immediately to the girls' baptism as would have been done in olden days (and is still done that way in traditional chapels today), she and they had to attend mandatory classes over a period of several months, thus introducing a delay in something essential to their salvation (they being too young to be catechumens in the proper sense of that term). Putting procedure ahead of Sanctifying Grace is not charity.

Again, notice that in our contemporary society, it's not one's proven and demonstrated ability to handle something that makes a reputation, but rather that all-precious piece of paper that's important: the license, the degree, the accreditation, and other such credentials. This is nothing but another by-product of the bureaucratic, impersonal approach to things.

2) The blurring of the distinction between spiritual and psychotherapeutic issues, and the resultant tendency to favor the approach associated with the latter. Notice how the questions presume that spritual direction must somehow be just another offshoot of psychotherapy, complete with the notion that the spiritual director is every bit the mercenary that the psychotherapist is!

But, given that the psychotherapeutic method is all this society (and "AmChurch" along with it) gives credence to, how can the questioner be blamed for not knowing that spiritual direction is something else entirely, in its objectives and methods? And while the spiritual director does indeed maintain something of a "professional distance" from his dirigé[e] (the correct term for the person receiving this direction, much better than the pecuniary word "client"!), he is by no means a mercenary. The director does his work for the love of God and souls, not for a country-club membership.

Two things I learned from seminary days about spiritual direction: (1) Don't pursue it unless you're serious about growing in holiness and thus willing to do whatever you're told to achieve that end; (2) as St. Teresa of Avila is known to have said, better to go with the knowledgable priest who might not be perfect in his own practice of holiness, than with one who is holy himself but is not learned enough to discern the spirits in others. This second proviso only makes sense when one considers, by analogy, all the great music teachers who were never such great players themselves.

[Christopher]

Wait! I thought a daily dose of Open Book and the Curt Jester was all the spiritual direction anyone needed. What? :)

Seriously though...

Along with FREQUENT Confession and Reception of the Blessed Sacrament, I would add:

1)Daily doses of prayer, scripture, meditations, etc. (A subscription to "Magnificat" is very useful for this)

2)Involvement in "SMALL FAITH COMMUNITIES" such as a Men's/Women's group, Scripture Study or Adult Education programs.

3)Personal devotions such as The Rosary, The Stations of the Cross, Eucharistic Adoration, etc.

4)Occasional retreats, either organized or private, weekend or single day.

[Dismas]

Regarding Amy's #4:

As a religious, I can say (I think with most religious, safely) that we like, no, LOVE having folks present with us at all liturgies (especially the ones with quiet cell phones ;) . Don't be shy! My house in the States has all offices, rosary, Eucharistic adorations and Masses open to the public. The more the merrier! Sadly, we don't have the same luxury down here. If you want a little extra in your prayer life, come on down!

Small caveat: our monasteries/convents/priories are quite often not a parish. We don't substitute for a parish. We would prefer everyone be involved in the parish life of their local parish, or a parish.

[Claude Muncey]

A few random notes about spiritual direction and such --

1) Remember that there is an essential difference between spritiual direction, the sacrment of reconciliation, and psychological counseling. I know priest directors who are skilled in all three and understand where one ends and another starts. At the minimum, both directors and confessors have to know when they are dealing with true mental, as opposed to spiritual affliction (which may be one of the main benefits of formal training). A lot of people are wasting time and money on Zoloft when they need more silence and prayer (although I know people who are being helped by antidepressants), and conversely, there are many people whose addictions and other problems are such a barrier that they must be dealt with professionaly before any kind of direction can take place. Direction is not therapy.

2) A religious house may or may not be a good source of directors these days -- you will have to check carefully -- and not for the reasons you might think. The problem is workload. Many orders (I am familiar with the situation with some Carmelite and Benedictine communities) have quickly growing associate or oblate communities that take up a great deal of their time -- and they are quite devoted to them. But to take one example I know, two oblate directors in a community of two dozen monks are covering a list of 500 oblates all over the world, many of them in formation. They are very generous with their time but have had to officialy declare that they cannot be directors as such to anyone any more. Some of the othe monks are avialable for this, but they have limits and their own tasks as well. Oblate communities, though, tend to know who the good directors are and who might be available.

3) A good source, if you do some snooping, can be retired priests. Not every priest is a good director, but some retired priests have more time and a lifetime of spiritutal expereince to share.

4) How do you ask someone to be a director? For most of us here, I suggest politely, in English. Basically, contact the person in question that you have identified as a potential director, let them know simply that you are seeking direction, and ask their advice.

5) Go read Matthew 25 a few times. Then go find some way to work with the poor, the sick, or the imprisoned. There is no substitute for encountering God in his litte ones -- I am never so conscious of His presence (or as tired) as when I am driving home from a prison.

[Glenn Juday]

Here is something that has helped me. The homily is where I often get the greatest shock or annoyance that catapults me out of the recollected state of mind I need to be in to get the most spiritual benefit from the Mass. So, if it's a really, really bad homily, I start to pray for the Holy Spirit to come down and inspire the priest to give a homily that will move the hearts of the faithful. Sometimes I pray to the Blessed Mother for her intercession on behalf of the priest who is here to serve in persona Christi. She must have special sympathy for priests, right? If the priest is presenting and defending rank heresy, I move out of my seat and kneel in prayer, asking God for speedy delivery of the congregation by whatever means he finds appropriate. By the way, I do sometimes have a vision of what it would be like if, when Father Wobbly started to depart from the orthodox apostolic faith in his preaching, the entire congregation got onto their knees. At the merely human level it might shake him up. At the spiritual level – well… who knows? Anyway, as a last resort, if all else fails, I challenge myself to give mentally to myself a mini-version of the homily that didn’t happen. I try to pick out a couple of themes that connect the readings and formulate some statements about them, then apply that theme or lesson to what I most need to focus on in my spiritual journey. It’s all a poor substitute. We laity have the right, extended through canon law, to access to the liturgy and the sacraments delivered according to the norms and the mind of the Church. I don’t want to ever get comfortable with anything else.

[Ken]

To go back to the header/title of this thread, I'm really not too discouraged about the state of the Church today. Having been a convert for just under 17 years, I've certainly seen some discouraging things. And yes, you can see all the markers of the 40s and 50s that make the Church look good, but most social institutions in those days were portrayed as looking good.

As someone (Amy?) on this or another thread pointed out, the abuses following Vatican II were perpetrated by people formed in the pre-VC2 Church. And priests back then had sex with teenagers, although bishops shuffled them off to monasteries instead of "treatment centers". Bishops could be jerks, just like today. Besides the changes in communications (the dreaded "media"), the other factor was that the Church was, to a large degree, outside the mainstream of American public life for ethnic as much as religious reasons. Ethnic enclaves always behave differently than than the wider culture for reasons that have little to do with spirituality.

In summary, I think the Church - at heart - is about like it has always been. If it was really better in the 40s and 50s - and I question that - then that was an exception in the broad scope of Church history and may be more cultural than spiritual. It's the Risen Lord Jesus that is our hope. That He lives in His body, the Church, is certainly true - that the treasure is held in earthen vessals is also true - and always has been.

[Justin]

A Prayer in Quest of a Spiritual Healer (Director)
by St. Symeon the New Theologion

"O Lord, who desirest not the death of a sinner but that he should turn and live, Thou who didst come down to earth in order to restore life to those lying dead through sin in order tomake them worthy of seeing Thee the true light as far as that is possible to man, send me a man who knows Thee, so that in serving him and subjecting myself to him with all my strength, as to Thee, and in doing Thy will in his, I may please Thee the only true God, and so that even I, a sinner, may be worthy of Thy Kingdom. Amen."

[Henry Dieterich]

I would second what the other people here have said. In particular, I can attest to the benefits of small groups of various kinds. Lots of the ecclesial movements have them in some form. I have been in charismatic covenant community for over thirty years, and one of the most valuable features of our life are the small groups. I meet about every two weeks with a group of four other men for prayer and discussion of our lives on many levels: family life, prayer, work life, and so on. We have supported one another by prayer and encouragement through unemployment, family illness, personal illness, and other struggles. As a single father, I have found great support from the other men in the group with daughters about my daughter's age (not to mention that their girls are her friends and their wives have also been a valuable help). Another feature of our community life is that everyone has a specific person with whom they meet regularly, not for direction per se, but to review their life. I have received valuable insights in prayer, as well as in childrearing, finances, time planning, and other areas, in this way. These things are easier to do in a community or a movement, but the principles could probably be applied in any situation.

[Peter Nixon]

For myself, being able to go out to the jail and worship with the men out there has been an important spiritual touchstone. Out there, what one needs to do to follow Christ seems exceptionally clear.

I think that one way of dealing with your own spiritual struggles is to simply put them aside for awhile and focus on the struggles of others.

[caroline]

In the end the only question is "What's the alternative." Peter got thst one right. "To whom shall we go, Lord."

[caroline]

"Two things I learned from seminary days about spiritual direction: (1) Don't pursue it unless you're serious about growing in holiness and thus willing to do whatever you're told to achieve that end;"

To me that is the problem: "willing to do whatever you're told."

I'm still willing to do or believe whatever the magisterium tells me in official capacity, but all down the line? Priests? Nuns? Laity who took the course? When they disagree with each other and some of them do evil deeds which they excuse or overlook? And I don't know which priest or nun is which kind.

"Willing to do whatever you're told" sounds like abdication of conscience, even a well informed conscience.
I can't give anyone else this carte blanche in my head. I guess spiritual direction is not for me. If the Holy Spirit can lead one to the right spiritual director, I suppose He has the power to do the directing Himself for difficult cases.

[Justin]

Caroline,

It is a well-established tradition/principle in the Church that one does not advance very far in their faith and holiness without obedience. While in monasteries this takes a very extreme form, for us in the world it takes two main forms, both of which are important. The first is obedience to our spouses, as per St. Peter and St. Paul. The second is obedience to our spiritual director. Formal adherance to magisterial teaching is great, but it is only the beginning foundation. The danger of going it on our own is that most of us have such malformed consciences and such little knowledge of legitimate spritual life that the moment we think we can do it by ourselves, the devil has a way in and we are easily led into deception (called prelest by Eastern Christians).

There are many stories of saints who had terrible spiritual directors, some who were downright abusive, but by being faithful and obedient to them the saints became just that. In fact, there is a story from the life of St. Catherine of Siena that Our Lord told her to do something in an apparition. When she told her spiritual director, he told her not to. St. Catherine did not. when the Lord appeared to her again, he asked why she hadn't done what he told her. She told her spiritual director told her not to. Jesus responded that she had done the right thing.

Read Phillipians ch. 2--we see that Christ was entirely obedient, even unto death. This, then, is our path, too.

[Peggy]

I was thinking about this topic after reading some of the discouragement in prior comments. I agree w/all of Amy's suggestions.

I was thinking that we cannot change the mass at our parishes, but we could take the initiative to find like-minded people, not to commisserate with, but also to explore the faith and grow. Perhaps do a Catechism study, Bible Study, or St. Ignatius' Spiritual Exercises over a period of weeks, ...or something. [Or, join an existing group of laity so spiritually-minded--as opposed to a parish finance committee.] Granted, the mass is the center of our faith, but if we're not satisfied with it, then we have to do something constructive and learn to find the value in the mass. It has value and is vital regardless of the man at the alter and his own touches he places on the mass. Our faith cannot depend on the personality of the priest. He is but an instrument of God's in the mass. Jesus is the real main preson in the mass. Assembling a small group of people centered on similar goals and values will do wonder to satisfy the hunger for the faith. All involved will benefit, as will the rest of the Church, as a secondary benefit.

I am glad to hear explicitly that spiritual direction is something that people do as part of their Christian apostolate (ie, for love of God and our fellow man, not money). It makes sense to me. It is similar to "sponsorship" that alcoholics, who are willing to do whatever's necessary to stay sober, will submit to. They later sponsor others to fulfil their own "misssionary" responsibilities to pass on what they've been freely given. It makes sense that passing on the Catholic faith works the same way. One does not necessarily give up one's conscience to a director, but the point of receiving such direction is that our own wisdom and judgment are frail, b/c we are human, and get us only so far. Thus, another, more experienced person's guidance is so very helpful and vital to keeping us on the right path.

[Kevin Miller]

Re: obedience to spiritual directors - note also that a good spiritual director won't ask obedience very often - and will do so only in regard to matters that touch directly on one's spiritual "health."

I've had several very good spiritual directors over the years. I don't recall a time when any of them put me under obedience on something.

[Brian Amend]

A priest once opened a homily at a Mass by asking who present had a spiritual director. Few raised their hands. He used this to make the point that all of us had a spiritual director in the person of the Holy Spirit who is with us until the end of time.

I am sure some will want to quibble with those terms, but the general point is solid.

St. Joseph was also a solid man in trying times. St. Teresa of Avila said that if we prayed for a spiritual director--a human being in this world--and did not find our prayers answered, we should commend ourselves to St. Joseph, who would see us along the path of our own vocation as would a good spiritual director.

Adding to what Kevin Miller said (at 9:12 p.m.), spiritual direction for lay people is not like spiritual direction for a religious. The contours of the life of a religious are much more strictly defined, so the spiritual direction can be much more specific and precise. I think for lay people the advice is generally speaking more broad and the obedience expected is that of taking what has been said very seriously and making an all out attempt to integrate it into one's life without offending reason or the will of God.

I find St. Symeon's prayer posted above scary, but in a good way. That probably means I should pray it, frequently.

[Elizabeth]

The only thing which will help the Church grow is holiness, and VISIBLE holiness in her members. Love and enthusiam is CONTAGIOUS. We all have complaints (I'm a Youth Minister and have been a High School Catechist, even in a very supportive diocese things can make you crazy inside sometimes). But the key is to offer up frustations, LOVE your faith, and LOVE it PUBLICALLY. If some other Catholics seem to dry and unenthused about their faith, don't go off on how its because the mass isn't pretty enough, they're lazy and uncatechized lalalala...these things may all be true, but throwing them in people's face and being a whiner doesn't make them go, "GEE, that lights me on fire for Christ!" BE ENTHUSIASTIC about your faith. Always talk positively about Christ and the GOOD things in the Church (save you whining for your small circle of other whiners and Church professionals that need to vent too)But all the Church needs is more enthusiastic, educated, wild about their faith people who see Christ as their all and all and aren't afraid to live it out. Others see that and they respond. And communion, confession, etc, and all the other things here people have talked about are the ways to grow in that holiness and love...you can only be like Christ with grace!

as a PS...Charles, you are right on about the program mentality. Sometimes working for and belinging to the Church feels like belonging to a Corporation, not a Mystical Body of Christ. I recently read a document by the bishops on Youth Ministry which actually referred to young Catholics as "Parish Resources", ya know, instead of IMMORTAL SOULS the parish should be SAVING. And then we were given "models" for how to "maximize" these little "resources". Lord have mercy. Anyway...the part of your comment which really touched me was about how we always seem to feel the need for official "accrediation" in our society rather than ability...a lesson I learned right out of college. I was a "Religious Education" major and thought myself, because of my theoretical backround, to really know my stuff, and found my self working with another Religion teacher who had been a humanities major, but had a great passion for Christ. I thought at first..."how can she know how to teach religion...she doesn't even know how to make proper sacred space and the seven different models of learning or the difference between the ecclesial method and the experiential method...SHOCKING!" And then I realized she had something a few college classes in Educational Methods can't give you...a personal, fearless passion for Christ and his teachings. Guess who is the better Religion Teacher? ;) I leared a lot from her about what makes a good teacher. A few words on your degree don't mean "nuthin'" if you don't love Jesus with your whole heart. :) not to mock my degree and all those great people that have them, but, believe it or not, most of the greatest evangelists in the Church didn't have Theology degrees from Stuebenville...But they did love and obey Jesus with their whole heart.

[ottanbrus]

Elizabeth: I pretty much agree with everything you have to say. When push comes to shove, our faith is all about loving Christ and following him with joy and enthusiasm. Yes, we do need encouragement, Lord knows, and some folks need a whole lot of it. Honey does attract more flies than vinegar. So I'm pretty sure that ninety percent of the time, honey is what's called for.

But I also think there's a place in the Church for Jeremiahs and Jonahs--holy whiners, if you will, who say the hard things and shine a light on all the infidelities. "Whiners" don't offer us much in the way of encouragement. And whining does get pretty tedious pretty fast. And a steady diet of whining is definitely not healthy. But it may be that (at least some of the time) the whiners do say things we all need to hear. And sometimes maybe they even point us in directions we all need to go.

[ottanbrus]

Addendum: Since this thread is about things that encourage us.... It's true that what the "whiners" have to say doesn't offer us much in the way of encouragement. But I guess I am encouraged by the fact that there are folks in the Church who choose to "stay in the fray". If nothing else, it's a sign that they care very much about this thing we call the Church. In an odd and unexpected way, I guess I am encouraged by the fact that we have whiners in our midst. Weird, huh?

(Just thinking out loud here, folks.)

[Christine]

Wise and excellent advice. Keep up the good work.

[Therese]

People whose primary work is spiritual direction should be paid for it. Going rates are 40 to 50 dollars and hour. Most will work for what you can afford. Be generous if you can. Helps make it possible for the spritual director to be there for folks who don't have the means. This is true for religious as well as non-religious directors. Even religious have to eat. If everyone goes for free, then the religious may be forced to work part time doing some other work that brings in money.

[Jason]

My suggestions:

1) Develop a deep, deep devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I think this is THE most important private devotion in the Church. His Sacred Heart really is the glory of the Church. And it goes hand in hand with devotion to the Holy Eucharist.

2) Pray the Liturgy of the Hours, if at all possible. Not only will you be fed by the Word of God, but you will strengthen your union with the Church Universal as you pray its official Liturgy.

3)Study the faith. Know it. And more importantly, pray to be filled with the zeal of the Holy Spirit. Pray for fearlessness in living and proclaiming the glorious Truth of the Catholic faith. With all the problems, we tend to get discouraged. But the answer is not to crawl under a rock and play the part of the suffering Messiah. Get out there and be the solution. And remember what the Holy Father always says: Be Not Afraid.

[Therese]

Elizabeth -- Amen!

Even the "good" and necessary whiners (ala otanbrus) will accomplish more if they allow others to see how much Jesus means to them. I know whiners who whine and it sounds like the only reason they are whining is that they personally don't like something. They try to hide how much Jesus means to them and how much joy Jesus brings to them. As a result, it seems like their whining is nothing more than a personal crusade to fix something to their own personal liking rather than to express how fixing what they are whining about can bring themselves and others closer to God.

Sometimes I think we can avoid unnecessary whining by not being spiritually selfish and wanting everything just so for us (or "Church My Way). I think sometimes we have to love the other persons in the Church enough to realize that what brings them closer to God may not be the same thing that brings us closer. The Truth must be preserved, yes, but seldom is the Truth challenged seriously by bad music as much as it is by an angry, have to be right at all costs, self-serving heart. When a homily is not for me, I pray it is for someone. (Of course the matter of homilies which are contrary to what the Church teaches -- even to the casual observer- are another matter.) At least 2 priests have remarked to me that there are times that they have carefully prepared a homily, only to find something very different coming out of their mouths. Then after mass, some one person steps up to them and says with great sincerity, "Thank you, Father, for that Homily, I really needed it."

So when the music (or whatever) is not my cup of tea, I think there is probably a person or two for whom it is THAT important. If that makes them aware of the presence of Christ great. Maybe they need that music to be at mass and in His presence more than the rest of us? The only truly painful mass I attended was a 20 minute Easter Mass in Madrid. I think the priest could have auditioned for that Fed Ex commercial that had the guy that spoke 6000 words a minute. I think the priest would have seriously contemplated Fed-exing us communion if it got us out of the Church faster. Whenever I think of it, I feel compelled to pray for the priest.

[kevin]

I am sorry. Asking a priest (which is whom I prefer if I were lucky enough to have a spiritual director) in my diocese would get me pretty much nowhere (for the most part-----the few orthodox priests are VERY much in demand for their time-----while I have to work 55 hours a week and care for my wife and 4 homeschooled children with the fifth on the way).

The good and solid priests are getting few and far between, the ones we do have available say things like:

1. There are questions about the validity of the Nicene Creed.

2. If you go to Eucharistic Adoration you are worshipping a piece of bread.

3. Most theologians do not believe in Purgatory.

4. WE are the Eucharist!

5. The Church's teaching on contraception was not meant for this day and age.

6. There is no such thing as Original Sin.

Need I go on?

Yeah Amy, I AM struggling. Big time.

Yet you tell me to go to a priest and not talk to you if I can't? Can you tell me where the faith is? Can you point me in a direction (other than Rome with Cdl. Ratzinger and the Holy Father) to find a priest who actaully believes in the WHOLE of the Deposit of Faith?

I tell you what, EWTN IS my parish/diocese right now. THERE is where I am at home. Yet if I mention EWTN to anybody at my so-called parish (especially the rectory-rats), they look at me like a green-eyed monster.

I just wish I could talk to those guys through the TV.

[WRY]

kevin,

would your priest object if you started a group to pray the rosary or perform some other devotion in your church that tends towards orthodoxy? My guess is that there are people in your church right now who feel like you do and don't know there are others around.

[Tom]

For those looking for a spiritual director, I warmly recommend my own, Dr. Catherine Benincasa. She doesn't charge for her services, and she can accomodate any schedule. She's written a book, which will give you some idea of the kind of direction you can expect from her.

[Maclin Horton]

Good grief. I go offline for the weekend and find the comments in the Good/Bad thread pushing 200. Too many to catch up. Great advice, Amy.

Two things in particular have helped keep me going: a subscription to Magnificat and a weekly hour of Eucharistic adoration.

I live in a reasonably solid diocese (Mobile, Alabama) where it is not all that unusual to find a parish that has Adoration for at least a day or two a week. And relatively few of the priests are really unsound. (The unreconstructed lay progressives of the educational establishment are another story.) I really feel for you folks in areas where the solid priests are the exception.

Oh, and a third thing: absolutely dogged (if hardly uncritical) commitment to the Church combined with a willingness to take the long (really long) view.

[jquinby]

I'd like to second the Liturgy of the Hours for daily prayer. I've been praying the Office of Readings on and off for a couple of years now, but have been (of late) feeling deeply moved to commit to it regularly. There are a couple of places online where you can get the readings/prayers/antiphons of the day, so you needn't rush out to buy anything if you want to try it.

I'd also like to recommend reading books by people who've converted to rediscover the paths that led them to the Church. I've found that the fire in their stories is contagious. My desire for a stronger prayer life was fanned by just having completed The Seven Storey Mountain.

[Jim]

Let me suggest that spiritual direction is not the place to find answers, but rather the path to answers. Some of these questions that we seek to answer are just not subject to one or two sentence answers. Spiritual direction is part of a larger process called formation, which is a life-long effort, not a weekend project. You can pick up a catechism and get all the quick answers you want, but understanding those answers and the answers to the questions they generate is just not a quick process.

[jenb]

While everything listed is a great list, only a few-Peggy and Elizabeth-have remembered to say GET INVOLVED!!

Working for a parish myself, I often want to throw overboard the orthodox who won't get involved-on pastoral councils, liturgy planning, etc. Folks, we get what we ask for. Leaving to go to another parish because this one isn't "good enough" without even getting involved is not only ridiculous, the rest of the parish looses out on what you have to offer. If I hear one more complaint online or in real life of poor parish ministry, my first question will always be :"So what are you doing to change this". Don't have any more pity parties. The Battle is the Lords' and he will win-but we need to actively participate!

Do the rest-yes pray, yes get Spiritual direction, YES study the faith, YES find others to assist you, but also GET INVOLVED! Help those of us who do this on a daily basis and can't fight the good fight without you!!!