Men and women are courageous, merciful, gentle, fierce; they love, hate, envy, need, crawl, capitulate, and resist. But they don't do it the same way. If you've written a character that could be interchangeably male or female, it is hard for me not to suspect that you've written a cipher, or a trick, or an ideological construct. I write men and women, not "people"; but I don't write concatenations of gender-linked traits. I write people who are often more constrained by gender than they might want to acknowledge; the heroic choices and sublimations and venal refusals women make look different from those made by men. But heroism and sublimation and venal refusal are equally available to either sex, and that too is an important point.
It has the added advantage of being true.