What it feels like to have a person inside you

We've reached the point (about 35 weeks or so) at which this person, whose name is Jacob, is making his presence constantly, unmistakably felt - and seen, for if you look closely enough, you can now see, on occasion, a little lump-like form skimming under my skin.

The activitiy seems almost constant, but especially so when I am at rest. (perhaps alicia can confirm if this would be my imagination or not) It's as if the rocking I afford him when I'm moving about soothes him and calms him into sleep, but when I stop - he must wake up.

He's head down - we know that - so I suppose what I'm feeling is mostly feet, legs, arms and little hands, fighting with me for space.

He gets hiccups - regular, rythmic little leaps that last for a few minutes.

I've reached the point at which I forget that there was ever a time that I wasn't pregnant, and forget, as well, that there will be a time in which I am no longer pregnant - and it won't be very long from now, I realize with a start.

(Got to get that book done. Got to get it done.)

It is the strangest state - pregnancy. Really. Another person dwells within you, a person who is completely different, who will travel on his or her own journey, but for whom God, for some reason, has privileged you to serve as the starting point. But even though he is unmistakably there, there is such a mystery about it all. For some, the question that nags at this stage is, "When will you come out?" For me, it's "Who are you? Come out so we can meet you." My limited imagination can only take me as far as envisioning another little Joseph, but I know how wrong that is and will be - I have enough children to know how wildly different they all are - which in a way, makes it all the more intriguing. What other permutation can possibly arise?

Anything, and anyone, of course - it is the glory of creation.

And all of this life, this mystery, this activity and movement and growth is going on literally just millimeters below the surface. That's all it is - a bit of skin and muscle between him and the rest of the world, keeping us all in darkness until the time comes.