« Fr. Lastiri, Risen | Main | Habemus Pope Books »

June 07, 2005

Anarchy?

In an address last night at St. John Lateran, Benedict spoke on the family:

What he said:

  He starts by saying that "the human being has been created in the image and likeness of God and God Himself is Love. Thus, the vocation to love is what makes man the authentic image of God. ... From this basic link between God and man comes another: the indissoluble link between spirit and body."

  "The totality of man," he continues, "includes the dimension of time and man's 'yes' ... means 'always', it is the space of fidelity. Only within it can one grow in faith." He adds that "the greatest _expression of freedom ... is the capacity to choose a definitive gift in which freedom, giving of itself, fully finds itself. Concretely, the personal and reciprocal  'yes' between a man and a woman ... is destined to the gift of a new life" and it is also a "public 'yes' with which the spouses take on the public responsibility of fidelity."

  Benedict XVI underscored that "the various forms of dissolving marriages today, as well as the free unions and the 'trial marriages', including pseudo-marriage between people of the same sex, are, rather, expressions of an anarchical freedom, which passes itself off, wrongly, for a true liberation of man. Such pseudo-freedom is based on making the body banal, which inevitably includes making man banal."

  Marriage and the Family in the History of Salvation.

  The Pope recalled that "biblical revelation, in fact, is above all the _expression of a story of love, the story of the covenant of God with man; therefore the story of the love and union between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage was able to be assumed by God as a symbol of the history of salvation."

  "In the same way that the Incarnation of the Son of God reveals its true meaning in the cross, authentic human love is the giving of oneself and cannot exist if a person wishes to rid himself of the cross."

  The Holy Father underscored several negative tendencies that are in opposition to "the profound link between God and man, between God's love and human love. ...The depreciation of human love, the suppression of the authentic capacity to love is revealed, in fact, in our times as the most adept and efficacious arm to remove God from man, to distance Him from man's gaze and from his heart."

  Children.

  "Even in generating children marriage reflects its divine model, the love of God for man. In man and woman, paternity and maternity, as the body and as love, do not let themselves be limited to the biological: life is given entirely only when, with birth, love and the sense that make it possible to say yes to this life are also given. Precisely in this way does it become clear how contrary to human love, to the profound vocation of a man and a women, it is when the union is closed to the gift of life, or worse yet, suppresses or manipulates unborn life. ... For this reason the building of every single Christian family is placed within the larger context of the great family of the Church, which sustains it and bears it within itself."

Andrew Sullivan bristles:

But at first blush, I would think that "anarchy" would better describe a world in which gay people have no context for their relationships, no social support for connecting sex with love, no chance of being fully a part of their own families. But I'm hardly surprised by the inflammatory rhetoric or the contempt for modernity and for human freedom voiced by this Pope. We knew what we were getting. Is he persuasive? Well, for that he would need an argument, an engagement with the social forces that have propelled gay relationships to the forefront of contemporary debate. Easier to pontificate and condemn. And he sure knows how to do both of those. Meanwhile, Europe continues to ignore him. Close to 60 percent of the Swiss just voted to allow gay couples to have most of the rights and responsibilities of civil marriage. If I'd stayed in Britain, I'd only have to wait a few months for full legal marriage rights. Maybe if the Pope voiced a little more charity and listened a tiny bit more, more people would listen back.

What Sullivan, as many other commentors don't or choose not to understand is the context and meaning of "anarchy" here. The simple version is: once you have untied marriage from the vision of Genesis: male, female, (even within the context of Old Testament polygamy) created by God to be fertile and multiply and be companions, imaging God's love....where are the boundaries? On what are any boundaries based? There are none. Once marriage is no longer about male and female as rooted in God's intentions for his creation...on what do you base the definition?

Now, if you are not of this Judeo-Christian worldview, and are rooted, instead, in contemporary Western secularism, that's another thing entirely. Such a worldview doesn't make gay "marriage" necessary, but I suppose it makes it possible. Then, I supposed, untethered by that you may define this thing called "marriage" any way you like (although that's still questionable, historically speaking), between any individuals you choose. But - in the Judeo-Christian vision that his deeply, historically rooted and takes revelation seriously and as definitive and authoritative, to attempt to define marriage any other way does, indeed, pave the road for anarchy - as in any or all definitions are fair game.

Oh, and one more point: Benedict speaks about...oh, materialism, sometimes. The vast majority of Catholics (ahem) totally ignore him, as we pursue Our Stuff. So? Does that mean he should like, "listen" to us and get on board and proclaim that it's all good?

Update: Obviously, I felt the comments thread here had run its course. If anyone has something really substantive to say, or would like, for example to respond to the post of David Delaney, near the end, with specifics, let me know via email, and I will gladly post it.

Posted by Amy Welborn | Permalink

Comments

Amy,

You write: "Now, if you are not of this Judeo-Christian worldview, that's another thing entirely."

But one thing I find interesting is that the basic idea of marriage has not been restricted to Judeo-Christian societies. There is no "gay marriage" in in China or Japan. Ancient Greece had rampant homosexuality, but no gay "marriage."

Posted by: John P Sheridan at Jun 7, 2005 10:06:19 AM

That's true of course. But I guess what I was thinking of was JC, as opposed to contemporary secularist. I should go back and make that clear.

Posted by: amy at Jun 7, 2005 10:10:40 AM

"the various forms of dissolving marriages today, ..."

Does this include the easy access to annulments?

In practice, I've seen upper middle class Catholics consider annulments nothing more than "Catholic" divorce.

Posted by: SiliconValleySteve at Jun 7, 2005 10:42:15 AM

Pete Vere, canon lawyer on annullments:

,It was with some reluctance that I first got involved with Tribunal ministry, since as a Traditional Catholic I bemoan the annulment crisis in North America. The fact I was extremely also suspicious of canon 1095, the canon with lists the psychological grounds vitiating marital consent, and the canon under which most marriages before a tribunal are declared null, didn't help either.

However, my Tribunal experience has been a real eye-opener, especially in light of the contraceptive and divorce mentality I encounter in most people, including Catholics. In fact, these mentalities are so pervasive within North American society that after four days on the Tribunal I found myself declaring as many marriages invalid as the next judge, often on a canon 1095 basis, and wondering to myself whether any marriage attempted today in North America is valid. In short, as a Traditional Catholic canonist, I can safely say that since the sexual devolution of the sixties, the rise in marriage annulments has not been because of the Second Vatican Council and a more liberal application of canon law, but because of a selfish and unrealistic understanding of what marriage entails by your average person entering into it.

But then again, we're often looking at people who have grown up watching pornographic sitcoms, who have been subjected to sex-ed programs more graphic than a gynecologist textbook fifty years ago, engaged in pre-marital sex since their early teens, most often shacked up two or three times by the time they marry, see children as an inconvenience, and suddenly we expect them to enter into a sacramental Christian marriage?

One of the main causes of the breakdown of marriage, I feel, is this contraceptive mentality which renders children an optional convenience rather than an end of marriage. In fact one of the first things I look for in going over a case before sentencing it what attitudes the parties had towards contraception, pre-marital sex and fidelity in the relationship. What I find there is enough in the vast majority of cases is usually enough to give me moral certitude that the marriage was sacramentally invalid from the
beginning.

I'd rather keep the discussion on what Benedict did say, by the way, rather than taking in the direction of what you think he should have said.

Posted by: amy at Jun 7, 2005 10:46:13 AM

John, you're quite right. Christianity has raised marriage to a new dignity. In China polygamy was often the rule, and women had no status. They were little better than slaves. In the ancient Greek intellectual aristocracies, women were uneducated and of little account; real friendship was with other men. Now we have a whole new group of people who have lived underground, in "anarchy" if you will, who see the beauty of marriage (while, by the way, fewer and fewer heterosexuals are bothering with it) and want to be included. This is a bad thing?

Maybe you have to be here. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. We have many homosexuals here, because we're friendly to them, and they come here from other places. Many of my clients are gay couples, as are my next door neighbors. My best friend is a lesbian, a devout Christian whose wise counsel is a great support for me. (Thank God for Kate and Angela!) Very many younger gay and lesbian couples have children, and we used to meet them at soccer games and parents' nights.

These people range over every possibilty, just like everyone else. Some are devout Christians, some are atheists, and everything else. Some are good people, some not. They tend to be good parents, if only because they don't sort of stumble into parenthood by accident.

Maybe Sullivan is right. Just think about it, just listen to them, instead of talking.

Maybe an "order" which depends on excluding them isn't worth having.

Posted by: Nancy at Jun 7, 2005 10:46:57 AM

Nancy: In a work, bunk. My mother is a lesbian, and extremely active in the gay-marriage movement. I've seen and heard more about this than almost anyone here, and believe me, this has absolutely nothing to do with the beauty of marriage and parenthood. It's a selfish and subversive movement that deliberately manipulates sympathetic folks like yourself by presenting itself that way.

Posted by: hieronymus at Jun 7, 2005 10:59:22 AM

I am going to step in here and just try (perhaps in vain) to direct the conversation in the "anarchy" direction, and engage the issue, specifically that way...

Posted by: amy at Jun 7, 2005 11:01:56 AM

Nancy -- you raise some very valid points. I guess the question that remains for me is, OK, now what if we just go in toto and proclaim ALL relationships valid? What about the confusion to a child who has one bi-sexual parent? How does one reconcile a parent who has relations with men and women? And of necessity, unless one practices polygamy, one partner may be part of a valid marriage while the other is engaged in an extramarital relationship. What does that mean for the concept of fidelity in Christian marriage?

I'm always awed whenever our Cathedral conducts Masses for couples married 50 years or more. And by the affection so many of them still have for one another.

Posted by: Christine at Jun 7, 2005 11:03:41 AM

Hieronymous,

Could you describe your experience a bit more? I think it would be very illuminating.

Thank you.

Posted by: Greg Popcak at Jun 7, 2005 11:05:02 AM

hieronymous, why do I guess that you're not getting along very well with your mom?

Posted by: Nancy at Jun 7, 2005 11:08:41 AM

Incidentally, we addressed this issue of anarchic freedom earlier today on the HMS Blog.

Here: http://www.exceptionalmarriages.com/weblog/BlogDetail.asp?ID=24192

and Here:
http://www.exceptionalmarriages.com/weblog/BlogDetail.asp?ID=24205

Posted by: Greg Popcak at Jun 7, 2005 11:10:34 AM

Time to update the Sullivan Freak Out Advisory.

Posted by: Mark Shea at Jun 7, 2005 11:12:10 AM

It seems to me that the key to understanding why the Pope describes gay marriage as an “expression of an anarchical freedom” is his line a few sentences up, that “the personal and reciprocal 'yes' between a man and a woman ... is destined to the gift of a new life.”

If marriage is destined to the gift of a new life, then a gay relationship could never be marriage, even if the partners experience it as a loving and committed relationship.

On the other hand, if openness to life is not part of the essence of marriage, then I think it’s hard to find a principled reason to exclude gays from enjoying its social and legal benefits.

Posted by: Mitch at Jun 7, 2005 11:15:01 AM

The problem isn't so much that homosexuals see "the beauty of marriage and want to be included," it's that they see marriage and want to redefine it to fit their own purposes. To cheapen the discussion with an analogy, it's like going to a spaghetti dinner and saying, "Wow, I'd like to have that, but instead of pasta and red sauce, I'd like my spaghetti dinner to be rice and beans. And if you don't give me my 'rice-and-beans spaghetti' you're bigoted, hard-hearted, cruel, and every other nasty name I can think of."

I'm all for listening, but when the person you're listening to is saying something absurd, I don't think it's Christian charity to say anything other than, "you're being absurd."

Posted by: Tim Ferguson at Jun 7, 2005 11:15:24 AM

Amy,

I think the Pope is absolutely right (not that he needs the reaffirmation from me) in calling this casting off of the traditional definition of marriage as anarchy. Marriage - a man and a woman, forging between themselves a sacramental bond for mutual support and the procreation and education of children - is the essence of a stabilizing societal unit. Any permutation of that - trial marriages, cohabitation, homosexual unions - fails to contribute to stabilizing society in that they either fail to tend towards permanence themselves of they fail to have a stable purpose.

Posted by: Tim Ferguson at Jun 7, 2005 11:20:37 AM

apologies for the crappy grammar above - the last two "they"s should be "it"s.

Posted by: Tim Ferguson at Jun 7, 2005 11:21:42 AM

Pope Benedict uses a particularly beautiful image: "the story of the love and union between a man and a woman in the covenant of marriage was able to be assumed by God as a symbol of the history of salvation." The longer I'm married, the more I appreciate that imagery.

I just have a problem understanding why gender roles are important in that image. After all, "In man and woman, paternity and maternity, as the body and as love, do not let themselves be limited to the biological." I've struggled with this for years, and I really can't see how my mariage would differently reflect God's relationship if I were married to another woman instead of to a man.

It seems to come down to our understanding of gender and the theological distinction between male and female. Either way, we're projecting our own understandings of gender and sexuality into the biblical story. Why is it any better to project a 1st century (or earlier) understanding of male and female?

In Christ there is no male or female. When should gender be ethically or theologically relevant?

Posted by: Regina at Jun 7, 2005 11:22:48 AM

Christine,

Obviously no one has definitive answers to any of your questions. For that matter, what happens to a child in a conventional family if one member has multiple affairs, etc.?

Like hieronymous, who would seek to invalidate all gay marriages on the basis of his rather troubled relationship with his mother, all my evidence is anecdotal.

I am personally acquainted with two "triads" formed in the 1960's. One consists of two women and one man; the other, two men and one woman. Of course both families have been together now for many years, and both groups are grandparents. I've known all these people for many years.

The kids all seem fine to me at least, as fine as anyone else. They don't seem to have an unusual number of "issues" with their parents. The ones who have married have formed conventional families. The one woman in the man/man/woman family is one of my closest friends; I went to law school (and with one of them, undergraduate school) with the two women in the other group. The adults seem unusually happy, but then again, stable marriages are rare these days.

Who has sex with whom? How do they figure it out? Don't go there. It's not our business.

What does this prove? Absolutely nothing, except that making this work is not impossible.

What should society do? Well here, as a lawyer, I do have some opinions.

Society should come down on the side of stability and commitment, for the sake of the children if for no other reason. The inability of homosexuals to marry has spawned any number of weird half-way measures like Domestic Partnership (which then commitment-averse heterosexuals want in on) and the like.

I would like to see the secular society draw a bright line. Either you make a commitment or you don't. A commitment means, you'll stand by each other through thick and thin (divorce should be made a good deal more difficult), you'll support each other financially, all that. Gay or straight, whatever.

If you make a commitment, we'll support you. We'll require health care, we'll give you tax breaks, whatever. If you don't want to make commitments, if you want to just shack up, gay or straight, well then, you're on your own. No health care benefits, no tax benefits, nothing, you can figure it out for yourselves.

The Church, any church? Well, the Church already differs substantially from the secular society in our view of divorce. The Church is under no obligation whatever to follow the secular society in this matter.

But we're supposed to be followers of Christ? Maybe we might try listening to these people, and to their experience?

Posted by: Nancy at Jun 7, 2005 11:24:07 AM

Nancy: In a work, bunk. My mother is a lesbian, and extremely active in the gay-marriage movement. I've seen and heard more about this than almost anyone here, and believe me, this has absolutely nothing to do with the beauty of marriage and parenthood. It's a selfish and subversive movement that deliberately manipulates sympathetic folks like yourself by presenting itself that way.

hieronymous, why do I guess that you're not getting along very well with your mom?

I think what Benedict is trying to do here is examine this on a deeper level than what the personal intent of gay marriage advocates is. After all, with any particular violation of sexual mores, one can find both those who are nice and those who are not. There are divorced and remarried people who love each other very much. There are unmarried-but-living-together couples who love each other very much. I imagine if one hunts around there are polygamous families who love each other very much. And even the occasional really strange cases, like adults and in relationships with children who appear to love each other very much.

Unless we grant that one's love and happiness provides the justification for any given type of relationship, we can't take love and happiness (or niceness or good parenting or what have you) to be indicators that a particular kind of relationship is right or wrong.

The question that Benedict is trying to answer is the deeper and more important one: What is marriage? Why is marriage? And given the answers to those questions, what kind of relationship is God calling us to?

Posted by: Scotus at Jun 7, 2005 11:25:13 AM

To be honest, I'd rather not get into it, and generally try to avoid using my status as child-of-homosexual-activist for rhetorical purposes. And we get along just fine, both knowing what subjects are best not to raise.

Posted by: hieronymus at Jun 7, 2005 11:26:16 AM

Can anyone provide a link to a transcript of the Pope's comments?

Posted by: Mike at Jun 7, 2005 11:26:26 AM

The question that Benedict is trying to answer is the deeper and more important one: What is marriage? Why is marriage? And given the answers to those questions, what kind of relationship is God calling us to?

Precisely, Scotus.

Maybe Benedict shouldn't be so much in the posture of answering questions as of asking them. Asking questions of God means that you don't think you know the answer already. A lot of the Church's alleged questioning of God is insincere, because we think we know everything already. We have nothing to learn. Even God can't teach us nothin', because we have everything nailed.

To be as sure as you are, Scotus, that the flowering of love in a certain context of necessity doesn't mean anything is certainly an odd way of listening for the Spirit of Love.

Since Pentecost, the Spirit is loose in the world; we don't know where or when He will break into the open.

Posted by: Nancy at Jun 7, 2005 11:35:47 AM

OK, hieronymous, but I certainly hope my children do not think that my marriage is part of a selfish and subversive movement. That's pretty harsh.

Posted by: Nancy at Jun 7, 2005 11:37:46 AM

Regina,

The answer to your question is that God's love is inherently fruitful. An intentionally sterilized sexual act (whether it includes contraception, homosexuality, or just a single person by him or herself) is inherently unfruitful. Gender is not something that we project onto the biblical story. It is something that God gave us as an image of His love.

Posted by: Jeff at Jun 7, 2005 11:40:23 AM

"Who has sex with whom? How do they figure it out? Don't go there. It's not our business."

Unfortunately, if one identifies as a practicing Catholic, the matter is not so simple. Pope Benedict, rooted in Scripture as he is, has made an admirable case for the Christian view of marriage as rooted in creation itself and in relation to the Body of Christ as the Church.

As evidenced plentifully in our wider culture, the consequences of relationships go far beyond the immediate ramifications of individual choice.

Posted by: Christine at Jun 7, 2005 11:41:52 AM