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May 20, 2006
Saw it
What I do for you people.
It's almost 1am, so no review until tomorrow, but some initial impressions.
1) It's really boring. It's so boring that by the time you get to the end of the last half hour - which follows the capture of Teabing and covers the Rosslyn Chapel, etc, stuff - whatever came before seems like a totally other movie that happpened a long, long time ago. It was a very odd feeling.
2) Tom Hanks should never speak to Ron Howard again. Or his agent. What a dreadful, dreadful part for him, and I hope his lips have come un-pursed by now. I'm worried about that.
3) So...when did full rear nudity become a part of PG-13 movies? 'Cept for the lash marks, nice bod, Paul Bettany.
4) I kept wanting big metal arms to come writhing out of Bishop Aringarosa's cassock so bad. That would have been awesome, and turned this baby completely aound. Someone, please Photoshop that.
5) Do nuns ordinarily run aound London in packs of 10? Just wondering.
6) During the opening sequence, when Sauniere is running though the Louvre, I swear, all I could think of was the trailer to The Norman Rockwell Code. See. Films do have an impact.
7) Jesus was "merely" mortal, but we all need to go kneel at Mary Magdalene's tomb. Because she's the wife of Jesus. Who was merely mortal. And she was bearing his baby. So we should go kneel at her tomb. Because she was married to Jesus. Who was merely mortal. But...
8) WHERE IS MARY MAGDALENE'S TOMB? WE'VE GOT TO RACE AROUND EUROPE, KILL PEOPLE, RACK OUR BRAINS TO FIGURE OUT STUPID PUZZLES, STAND AROUND IN RESTROOMS AND VILLAS TALKING FOR HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS ABOUT WHERE IN THE WORLD MARY MAGDALENE'S RELICS ARE. WHY HAS THE CHURCH HIDDEN THEM? WHY DON'T THEY WANT US TO REVERENCE HER? WHERE IN THE WORLD IS THE SUPER-SECRET SPOT WHERE PILGRIMS CAN FLOCK TO HONOR HER?
7) The reaction at the showing I went to was meh. Here's what happened. David is in town to help celebrate Katie's confirmation (last Thursday night). So, we decided to go - he would go see Silent Hill, and I would use my free pass to see DVC. I dropped him off, he went in to Silent Hill, but did not check the board before he did so, to notice that the DVC showing I would go to was sold out. And the girl in the ticket booth just stared at me when I tried to explain that I really didn't want to go to the 10:20 showing and I needed to tell my son that I couldn't get in. Hmm.
So, I went ahead and bought the ticket to the later show, hung out, peeking into the theater until the show I'd wanted to attend began - and I mean really began, past the previews, just to assuage my conscience - saw at least 15 empty seats, and grabbed one.
As you would expect, the crowd at this 9:40 show was mostly people in their 20's, and it was clearly a date movie. And even though it was late when the show let out and people were tired, there was just no end-of-a-good-movie bustle and chatter. The movie ended, the lights went up, and the crowd dispersed in near-silence. I stood at the door and listened to them once they started talking, and this is what I heard several times:
"Did you like it?"
"Eh, it was okay."
So - I'm thinking this will have a sizeable opening weekend, but maybe even get a drop-off as early as Sunday, and for sure will not have repeat business. It's not going to bomb, but it is definitely not a film that engages or that people are going to fall in love with.
More tomorrow. Or- later today.
Posted by Amy Welborn | Permalink
Comments
That was indeed a labor of love.
Posted by: Lynn at May 20, 2006 1:26:16 AM
mostly people in their 20's, and it was clearly a date movie.
I would be surprised if any large numbers of teenagers wanted to go see it, and would be doubly surprised if any early or pre-teens wanted to see the movie. It does not surprise me that guys would go only if they were dragged to it by their girlfriends/wives.
for sure will not have repeat business
Well, it may not be a "bomb," but it is certainly a "dud" without repeat business. Its the repeats that push movies into blockbuster status -- folks going to see Star Wars or Spiderman five or six times.
The published production costs were $125 million, not counting advertising costs. Although it has gotten more free publicity than any other movie in memory, I have seen tons of broadcast and print ads for DVC, so I would think that the advertising costs were substantial -- perhaps pushing the break-even point up to $150 million. It will certainly break that world-wide, but I'm not so sure about the domestic numbers.
One thing that is becoming clearer -- Next week's X-Men 3 will blow DVC away when it opens.
Posted by: Bender at May 20, 2006 2:04:01 AM
I saw the film too (before I do a presentation on it tomorrow) and agree with these prelim points; here's 2 others:
> does anyone stay for the 10 minutes of end credits? To the bottom line about all resemblance to reality is accidental? To penultimate lines about who gave them permission to violate sacred spaces (Lincoln, Winchester; and the government of "O so Catholic"(95%)Malta....) Amy, you must not have stuck around, or you wouldn't have heard any exiting conversations
> Not only do we kneel to the relics of the wife of a mere mortal, but we can't kiss and touch the one who is the current in the blood-line of this mere mortal. What weird chemistry. Oh, wait a minute....back up...it's not a wife of a mere mortal, it's a goddess married to a mere mortal. (Reminds me, I must look into the term for sleeping with gods...)
Posted by: thomas at May 20, 2006 2:05:44 AM
Amy! You pulled the old "buy a ticket for one movie and go see another" switcheroo. (Granted, it was the same movie, just a different show time, but boy is St. Peter gonna lay into you on that one!)
What're you gonna tell us next you snuck in some unauthorized Goobers?
Posted by: Shaun G at May 20, 2006 2:20:50 AM
I'll wait for when the library gets a copy. Any chance you could get a passable drinking game out of it?
And I sincerely hope that sneaking in Goobers is a venial sin at most, because, um - no reason :).
Posted by: Sonetka at May 20, 2006 2:40:25 AM
"5) Do nuns ordinarily run aound London in packs of 10?"
Yes the place is overun with feral ones!
;-)
Posted by: Paul at May 20, 2006 2:51:22 AM
There are times when unabashed mockery is nearly as effective as the most careful apologetics. This is one of those times.
Posted by: Richard at May 20, 2006 3:52:23 AM
Thank you, Amy. Sweet dreams!
Posted by: Joan at May 20, 2006 4:01:56 AM
I hope you offered this up. Sitting through this pretentious potboiler of a movie should be worth at least a year off purgatory!
Posted by: Donald R. McClarey at May 20, 2006 6:51:45 AM
BTW, the full version (30 minutes) of The Norman Rockwell Code is up here. Very funny.
Posted by: Karen LH at May 20, 2006 7:18:09 AM
My two sons, ages 15 and 26 went to see "Hedge" and said it was fantastic! They both gave it a "9" out of a 10. They know I am not into animation, but both said even I would love it. My wife and I are going today. My 24 year old son bought a ticket to "Hedge" and somehow ended up in DVC :). I haven't talked to him yet.
Posted by: William at May 20, 2006 7:21:45 AM
Just listened to the latest Ebert and Roeper podcast last night. They gave DVC two thumbs up. The gist of their review was that of course the movie slandered Opus Dei and the Catholic Church, but that any moron could see that the "history" was all made up, so who cares?
OK, fine. I unsubscribed to their podcast.
Posted by: Karen LH at May 20, 2006 7:29:13 AM
I would expect that all the book's fans would flock to the movie, and that right quick, so of course it should open strong. And then?
Posted by: Fr Martin Fox at May 20, 2006 7:55:21 AM
Full-bum nudity in PG-13 is old, olllld hat. Ask a knowledgeable movie person about what is and isn't allowed in PG-13, the no-man's-land of ratings. For instance: You can beat the crap out of someone with whatever weapon you want, as long as you avoid the head, and be PG-13. So, for instance, you can place a hungry rat under a glass dome on a man's stomach and let everyone watch him start nibblin' -- that's fine.
One F-bomb is OK for PG-13, but two is R, and only if the single F-bomb is used in a non-sexual sense. Rob Reiner had a great observation: "You can say, 'I want to f--- you,' and that's R. But 'I want to f--- you over,' and that's PG-13."
Posted by: Nance at May 20, 2006 8:18:42 AM
One thing I'm proud of...here in the Philippines, TDVC got an R18 (Restricted to 18 years old and above) rating.
Posted by: Cristina A. Montes at May 20, 2006 8:35:28 AM
Hi Amy, I did it! At your service!
http://echoromeo.blogspot.com/2006/05/monsignore-aringarosa-und-das-da-vinci.html
I am not sure about the license of changed movie pictures. But as far as my copyrights are concerned you may use it ...
Greetings
Peter
Posted by: Peter Esser at May 20, 2006 8:42:58 AM
Here's a working link to Peter Esser's website. Nice photoshop! (And now I know what Amy was talking about -- I haven't seen the Spiderman film he was in and didn't make the connection.)
Posted by: Andrea Harris at May 20, 2006 9:12:17 AM
Amy, as Lynn said above, that was indeed a labor of love. But definitely worth it to get the exit comments. Thanks for the aspect that the MSM will certainly miss.
Posted by: Mary Kay at May 20, 2006 9:17:02 AM
Thank you, Andrea! (I didn’t even try to set a HTML-Tag …)
I haven’t seen SPIDERMAN either, it became only clear to me when I googled for »Aringarosa«.
Posted by: Peter Esser at May 20, 2006 9:24:08 AM
I'm a movie barbarian. I don't see art films, "chick flicks," romantic comedies, blockbusters, anything overhyped (Titanic, Brokeback Mountain, ad nau), anything that won something at Cannes, anything with an "ensemble cast," anything with those little gold palm leaves on it, or anything with period costumes (unless it's Braveheart or Troy). Three questions I ask about a movie:
Does it have space aliens?
Does anything get blown up?
Do any space aliens get blown up?
Must have a "yes" to two out of three for me to see it.
I know: total barbarian.
Fr. Philip, OP
Posted by: PNP, OP at May 20, 2006 9:33:00 AM
Free speech reigns. We crazy Catholics and other Christians haven't disgraced the Holy Name by engaging in verbal or physical violence. More attention has been drawn to the de-constructionism spawned by over-application of the historical-critical method. I know people who have been inspired to read good histories of the Church, and even dust off their Bibles. I personally didn’t have much of a grasp on the heresy of Gnosticism, and its contemporary manifestations.
I would like to let Bender know that there was a lot of "buzz" in my daughter's eighth grade class (in a Catholic school) about the many that were eager to attend the local opening of The Movie. I don't plan to ever waste a minute of my life on reading the book or watching such nonsense, but I must admit that some very good things may come from all of this attention.
Even though this is but a cultural moment, I’m glad to see that it properly is being used. This seems to me to well represent the mystery of paradox. I wish that Chesterton were available for comment. May God continue to bless and use knowledgeable Catholic and other Christian apologists to make good the net effect of this book and movie. In the words of our Lord, as memorably depicted (with license) in Gibson’s similarly controversial movie, as having been proclaimed on the way of the cross, “Behold, I make all things new.”
“The one who sat on the throne said, "Behold, I make all things new." Then he said, "Write these words down, for they are trustworthy and true."
He said to me, "They are accomplished. I (am) the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give a gift from the spring of life-giving water.” Revelation: 21 5-6
Posted by: Joseph R. Wilson at May 20, 2006 9:33:26 AM
Haven't been near the cineplex yet, but I stand by my assertion that FOUL PLAY will always be the definitive evil albino movie.
(And, hey, where are all the innocent albinos? There's a niche protest group for you...)
Posted by: Ellyn at May 20, 2006 9:46:46 AM
Fr. Philip,
I know that priests are real people too, but it always surprises me when they talk like them. I will never forget the day Fr. Robert walkind into LitTrad and began his lecture with, "I was reading a copy of Guns and Ammo the other day..." Unfortunately I don't remember anything he said after that! Thanks for the chuckle!
And thanks Amy for your brief impressions. Looking forward to the full review.
Posted by: Charlotte at May 20, 2006 9:55:58 AM
I don't care how much Ebert liked it as long as he continues to compare DVC believers to 9-11 conspiracy nutcases. Once "nobody believes that", no one will believe it.
Posted by: Jon W at May 20, 2006 10:06:54 AM
If the story were about a world-wide Jewish conspiracy, would it still be an innocent read at the beach? Of course not. That's the point that has been missed by the media. This isn't just about offending Christian theology. It is anti-Catholic. The Catholic Church, like Judaism, is eternally corrupt and covering things up, a threat to man's freedom.
Posted by: Jason at May 20, 2006 10:21:37 AM
