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March 22, 2007
On the Edwards
What a sad turn - Elizabeth Edwards' cancer has re-appaeared - in her bones. This is serious, but not an immediate, short term death sentence. One of my closest friends in Florida has spent the past 10+ years battling various forms of cancer, all of which began with a small lump in her breast (she had it removed with a lumpectomy, but said later, in retrospect, she should have chosen the mastectomy. Who knows if it would have changed the outcome.)
I will never forget the Halloween night - probably in '98 or '99, when I took Katie trick-or-treating, and Molly was at her daughter's house (her daughter lived in the same neighborhood I did). I was a little surprised because when we appeared, both of the daughters (adults) whisked Katie back into the house and said she must show them her candy, right now. I sat on the front porch and my friend said, "The bone scans came back. My bones are black with cancer."
But then she said, "I'm going to fight this. There are going to be candles lit and prayers said, and I'm going to fight. I will see grandchildren."
And she has. Four so far.
She is diminished in various ways, she's been unable to teach for several years, and the cancer has fought hand-to-hand with her the whole way, but she is living on her own still, doing her yoga, going to Daily Mass, tending to her garden - and her grandchildren.
I'm like Rod - I don't know quite what to make of the decision to continue the campaign. Even though I have largely no use for Edwards' politics, his dedication to his wife and family is untarnished - a point Al Mohler made in regard to Ann Coulter's most recent bombastic idiocy. I can assume the dynamic - she probably very much wants him to go on. It may be just the kind of focus that is needed, or it may end up being something Edwards regrets very much as he looks back at time he could have spent with his wife instead of on the campaign trail.
You just never know what will happen - what the combination of good medicine, faith and the determination to see something through can do.
Posted by Amy Welborn | Permalink
Comments
I have been following Cathy Seipp's battle (to the degree that she wrote about it). I loved her writing, loved her style and chutzpah. It's interesting when you "know" people only in the cyberworld, because even as she wrote about trips to the ER, etc., I kept picturing her as the vivacious woman in her blog's masthead. I feel sad about it all.
Posted by: Rachel at Mar 22, 2007 3:55:41 PM
As the daughter of a breat cancer survivor (who is battling it again) this story makes me incredibly sad. What a tragedy.
Posted by: Mimi at Mar 22, 2007 5:05:40 PM
Al Mohler's post was good. Thx for the link.
Posted by: Ed Peters at Mar 22, 2007 5:13:37 PM
It reminds me of formula of "The American President" film starring Michael Douglas from a few elections ago.
Posted by: Athos at Mar 22, 2007 5:41:59 PM
Amy, your and Rod's reactions on the Elizabeth Edwards thing are natural . . . until you've been there.
My wife and I have been there. Not a virtual death sentence, but cancer is cancer, and you learn that you do what you have to do to live one day at a time, because that's how you deal with such a big thing. One day at a time.
I've posted on the matter on my blog at the website. The direct link is http://revolution-21.blogspot.com/.
Posted by: The Mighty Favog at Mar 22, 2007 6:06:15 PM
My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at about the same time Mrs. Edwards was. Mom went ahead with the double mastectomy and chemo, and it hasn't come back. At about the same time, I had a flood in my house that caused the kitchen ceiling to cave in (I was out of town 4 days and discovered it when I got home). In some ways I think it was a distraction for her because I decided to redecorate and she likes doing that kind of thing. Maybe that is what the campaign will do for Mrs. Edwards. They can still change their minds if things get worse (hopefully they won't).
Posted by: Amy Marie at Mar 22, 2007 10:48:22 PM
The Edwards' decision to stay in the race may seem incomprehensible to most. But after watching one of my dearest friends battle the same situation, I think the decision is the right one for them.
My friend was misdiagnosed for breast cancer in 1996 - it appeared first as a rash on her breast and she was told it was nothing significant. By 1997, when correctly diagnosed, the breast cancer had already spread to the bone. Her doctor said that she "lit up like a Christmas tree" on the X-rays.
But she had a seven year old daughter to raise and a husband who was diagnosed with a rare, genetic form of muscular dystrophy a few years later. She couldn't leave.
Her life continued except it was organized around the endless bouts of chemo and radiation. She never quit her job as a pre-school teacher. She never complained because she was too busy and there was too much left to do.
Her husband eventually became completely debilitated and he passed in June of 2006. Shortly afterward, her youngest daughter who had turned 16, got her driver's license. Her oldest daughter told me it was at that point that she came to the realization that she had accomplished her main goals. Her two oldest children were now well equipped to take care of their younger sister.
She had a virulent flare-up last Fall and by December 13 the fight was over.
Does that mean that everyone who has important goals is able to survive longer? Of course not, there's plenty of evidence to the contrary. But for some, it does make a difference.
Everyone who is in this type of situation needs to make that decision for themselves without considering anyone else's opinion, whether they are in the midst of a presidential campaign or teaching pre-school.
I just wish my friend had been able to live to see her grandchildren like Amy's friend. Her first is due in May.
Posted by: JTII at Mar 23, 2007 8:10:29 AM
"Not a death sentence" is right.
My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001 after being misdiagnosed for a year or more -- large tumor, many lymph nodes. in 2003 we found that it had spread to the bone, and in 2005 to the bone marrow. She's had mastectomy, chemo, radiation, reconstruction, ovaries removed, scans, tests, and more, and been on a new chemo regimen for the past 17 months or so. Meanwhile both of us have started new jobs, we've moved to a new city, she has completed a PhD, taught about a dozen college classes, gone to conferences, and done more than her fair share of the household work and childcare. She definitely has to take it slower than most of us, but life has not ended by any means.
It's heartening to have the idea of cancer as a treatable chronic illness out there in the news. This is the approach of our doctors, and so far it has worked well for us.
Posted by: Michael Kremer at Mar 23, 2007 10:36:50 AM
Let me add: thanks be to God.
Posted by: Michael Kremer at Mar 23, 2007 10:54:37 AM
I knew a lady who had cancer in her spine and had been given a maximum chance of survival of 3 years, most likely less because it was so high in her neck. At the time, she had a five-year-old daughter and a 3-year-old son, and the first words that came out of her mouth upon hearin gthe diagnosis was, "God, please let me raise my kids!"
She lived for 16 year with that cancer, vibrant and active and capable all the way up until the last 9 months, which she spent helping her daughter plan a wedding that wasn't going to happen for a couple more years, and getting to know her son's new girlfriend, whom he later married. When she died, her daughter was away on a missions trip and her son was working as a counselor for their church camp, and I know she felt that she had done her job in raising those two kids. That's when it was okay to let go.
I think it's obvious that Jon Edwards loves his wife and I believe him that if she needs him, he'll drop everything to be at her side.
Posted by: Sparki at Mar 23, 2007 11:38:43 AM
I am encouraged by the above stories. My mother was diagnosed 4 weeks ago with stage 4 ovarian cancer. She has a 50% chance of making it to 18 months.
I can't do much but visit, hold her hand and help her get back on her feet. I ask your prayers for healing and her conversion the the Catholic Faith.
http://nofightingnobiting.blogspot.com
Posted by: kat at Mar 23, 2007 2:13:49 PM
No one mentioned praying for her soul. The fact that she supports the pro-choice position of her husband is problematic, in addition to the fact that she may have undergone egg donation with her last two children.
I'm not throwing stones at her, and I realize she is not Catholic, but we really should be praying for her conversion.
Posted by: Kristin at Mar 24, 2007 8:30:25 PM
